The love bomber is looking for something outside of themself to make them feel complete. How can you tell the difference between narcissistic love bombing and healthy romantic interest? Love bombing is the worst and possibly most insidious of the dating trends, because it’s the ultimate in manipulation. We all know how predictable a narcissist can be. You might not be surprised to know that one of the biggest questions I hear from both readers and narcissistic abuse recovery coaching clients is how to know the difference between a narcissist who is love bombing and a normal person who is just genuinely interested in you. Why does love bombing work so well? It’s the high of the love bombing during the idealization stage that victims of narcissistic abuse yearn to return to once the devaluation stage begins. This is the stage in which you fall in love and form a bond with the narcissist. Love bombing invariably includes lots of romantic conversation, long talks about our future. They’re all alike and yet, they each think they’re unique and über special. "If … Love bombing often turns into a cycle that Archer says “starts with intense courtship and idealization over a very short period of time — days or weeks, not months,” before turning ugly. It is the formation of an incomplete person joining with another to make one big, flawed toxic mess. Love-bombing takes place in the narcissistic abuse stage that comes first, the idealization stage. Love bombing, especially for codependents, is the fast lane to easy and illusory self-esteem. Love bombing is an attempt to accelerate the birth and growth of feelings within the victim by creating an intense atmosphere of affection and adoration. And in the early stages of a relationship (or even during a “renewal” period in a long-term relationship, in which he reactivates the love bomb), you can rest assured that certain things will happen, with almost any lovebombing narc. We’re not just talking about romantic gestures, like flowers or gifts. "Love bombing is an effective tactic because everyone wants to feel good," Jonathan Bennett, Dating/Relationship Coach and owner of The Popular Man, tells Bustle. Love-bombing consists of one person attempting to unite with the other to fill the holes and gaps in within themselves. Love bombing is an attempt to influence another person with over-the-top displays of attention and affection. Every love bombing destroyer starts things off the same way. It is designed to disarm an individual’s natural guardedness so that they do not question the direction and speed a relationship is headed in. Love bombing is the reinforcement, where the abuser showers the victim with love if the victim acts how they want. Love bombing is the first tool sociopaths pull from the identical tool-kit they each come with. And it seems like heaven. It will make you think you’ve found the love of your life. 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